Ingabe amakati akho anenkinga yokuhlangana? Kunzima ukufakazela lokho okubonakala kubhekana nokuhlukumeza phakathi kwamakati abaye baba abangane abahle esikhathini esidlule. Amakati amabili azohlanganyela ekuzilungiseleleni kokubili ngomzuzu owodwa, futhi ngakolunye uhlangothi, avaliwe empini yezinyo-ne-claw. Isimiso sethu ukuwuphula ngaphambi kokuba umuntu ahlupheke, futhi empeleni, ngezinye izikhathi ukuncenga kuyadingeka. Kodwa-ke, ukuhlukunyezwa phakathi kwamakati wezindlu kuvela ngezindlela eziningana ngezimbangela ezihambisanayo.
Kuyasivumela thina, abangane babo, ukuba siyiqonde ngokugcwele lezi zinhlobo zokuziphatha okubi ukuze sikwazi ukuthatha izinyathelo ezifanele uma kudingeka.
Amafomu Wokuhlukunyezwa Phakathi Kakati
Kunezinhlobo eziningana zobudlova oboniswe ngamakati emzini owodwa. Ngamunye unesizathu esihlukile futhi kaningi isisombululo esithile. Nakhu ukuthi ungabona kanjani futhi ulawule uhlobo ngalunye lokuziphatha okunonya.
Dlala ukucindezela
Futhi ebizwa ngokuthi "ukudlala," ukudlala ukuhlukumeza kuqala ngesikhashana nezingane ezincane, noma ngamakhitteni angewona ahlobene nabendlu. Kodwa-ke, akugcini kuphela ezinkathini. Amakati anesimo semvelo sokusinda, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usemaphandleni noma emakhaya ase-cushy, futhi ekuqaleni kokuqala kufundiswa omama.
Enye inkinobho iyoba "inhlanzi" enye, bese iphoqa isilwane sayo esingalindelekile, futhi kumnandi. Khona-ke uzobabona bahweba indima, lapho isisulu sixosha isidlo sakhe sangaphambili. I-"chase me" umdlalo uvame ukuthanda kakhulu emakhaya amaningi, kuhlanganise namakati azo zonke ubudala.
Ukudlala-ukuvame ukuzijabulisa okungenabungozi. Ukuncenga kuyadingeka kuphela uma kubonakala ukuthi ikati lilimazwa, uma impi iqhubeka isikhathi eside kakhulu, noma uma iphenduka ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili. Ungasiza ekuqinisekiseni ngokumelene nokulimala ngokuqhafaza ngokunciphisa amahlombe amakati njalo, umkhuba okufanele ube yingxenye yesimiso sakho sesondlo esivamile.
Kumele kukhulunywe futhi ukuthi ukudlala ukuhlukumeza kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokusungula isikhundla sobukhosi obungunaphakade, noma "ukuhlehlisa ukulandelana" phakathi kwabalingani basekhaya.
Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi
Ngisho namakati angathathi hlangothi ngezikhathi ezithile "azizwa ama-oats awo," ikakhulukazi uma engathintwa ngemuva kokuvuthwa ngokocansi. Kwezinye izimo, ukuhlukumeza ngokocansi komunye komunye komunye umkhawulo kulokho okubizwa ngokuthi ukuhlukumeza umbuso, noma ukuhlukunyezwa kwendawo. Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili kulula ukubona. Umhlukumezi uzoluma inhlanzi yentamo yekati elihlukunyezwayo futhi azame ukumbamba, ngokunyakaza okufanayo okubonakalayo ekubambeni kwamadoda nabesifazane.
Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi phakathi kwamakati kungadangalisa ngokushaya isikhala ; Ngokuvamile lokhu kuyindlela kuphela yokuqondisa ngqo okudingekayo. Ungase futhi ukwazi ukuyeka ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi ngokuqondisa kabusha ikati lakho komunye umsebenzi, njengokudlala noma ukudla.
Ukunyuswa komhlaba
Ukuhlukunyezwa kwamanye amazwe kungahle kwenzeke ngokuzumayo phakathi kwamakati amabili ahambisana ngokulinganayo. Kungenzeka phakathi kwesilisa-owesilisa, owesilisa-wesifazane, noma owesifazane-wesifazane. Ukuhlukunyezwa komhlaba ngendlela yokulwa kuvame ukuhambisana nokumakisha, noma ukucubungula umchamo , okusiza ukukhomba leli hlobo lokuhlukunyezwa.
Ikati le-aggressor akuyona ikati elidala , noma lona oselekhaya elide kakhulu.
Uzosungula ukuhlaselwa kwakhe ngokumangalela kakhulu: ukuvuswa emuva, izindlebe ezibuyiselwe emuva, ukuhamba nogqoke, nokuxosha, bese ezama ukumluma ngemuva kwentamo. Ezimweni eziningi, ikati "elihlukunyeziwe" lizobuyela emuva ngokuhamba futhi lihambe kancane kancane, futhi inqubo yokuzijabulisa yomphakathi izoqala.
Ngezinye izikhathi, isisulu sizonikeza isihloko, futhi impi enobudlova ingasetshenziswa. Ungazami ukuhlukanisa amakati amabili alwa ngokomzimba. Ekushiseni komzwelo, ngeke bakubone futhi ukulimala okukhulu kungaholela. Ungazama enye yalezi zindlela zokuhlukumeza:
- Sebenzisa isibhamu samanzi. Ngokuvamile, ibhasi lomfula elihlelwe emfudlaneni ogcwele kuyoba yinto yokuqaphela futhi ihlukane ngokushesha.
- Thonsa umcamelo noma ithoyizi elikhulu phakathi kwabo. Ukukhathazeka komuntu ohlukunyezwayo kungase kuhanjiswe emfuleni, ngakho-ke isisulu singase siphumelele ngokuphepha.
Amakati amaningi asekhaya azogcina ekuxazululeni izingxabano zabo. Omunye uzobusa njenge-cat cat, kanti omunye uyokwaneliseka indima yakhe encane ohlwini lokuqondisa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ungase ubhekene nenkinga yamakati amabili angeke ahlangane futhi angadinga ukuhlukaniswa unomphela.
Icala ngalinye lokuhlukunyezwa kwendawo liza nezinhlawulo zalo, futhi kuzothatha isikhathi esiningi nokuzinikela ekusebenzeni namaqembu ukuxazulula ilungiselelo lokuphila ngokuthula.
Ukuguqulwa okuqondiswe kabusha
Isimo sobuciko sokuhlukunyezwa okuqondisiwe sihamba kanje:
U-Alex uhlezi efasiteleni ebuka izinyoni ngaphandle uma ebona ikati elingalindelekile egcekeni lakhe elishaza isihlahla sakhe esithandayo nge-urine. U-Alex uzijikijela efasiteleni futhi uhlasela uSophie, olele ngokuthula esihlalweni. Uhluphekile uSophie uvuka futhi ulwa emuva noma ubalekela ukuyofihla. U-Sophie angase ahlasele u-Alex ngaphandle kokuhlukunyezwa okwesaba.
Ukubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa okuqondisiwe kuqukethe izinyathelo ezimbili eziyisisekelo:
- Thola indlela yokugcina ikati engaqondakali egcekeni lakho, noma ukumboza okwesikhashana iwindi lapho angase abonakale khona.
- Gcina amakati akho amabili ahlukaniswe usuku noma ezimbili kuze kube yilapho bobabili bakhohlwe lesi sigameko.
Ukuhlukunyezwa okuqondiswe kabusha ngokuvamile kuyisimo sesikhashana ngaphandle uma uvumela ukuba siqhubeke.
Ukuhlukunyezwa kwamaKomama
Amakati wesifazane anemigomo yawo ehlukile. Zivame kakhulu izindawo futhi zithukuthele amanye amakatikazi angena emkhathini. Ukuhlukumezeka kwamadoda nabesifazane ngokuvamile kuvame ukuziphatha kwezigameko zendawo, futhi uzoyiphatha ngendlela efanayo.
Kukhona olunye uhlobo lokuhlukunyezwa okukhethekile kumakatikazi asebesifazane, okwehlukumezayo enkathini yenkwenkwana yesilisa, okungenzeka ukuthi "bayayamukela" futhi bayithandayo lapho esemncane. Ngolunye usuku (ukumangala nokumangala) umama wakhe onothando wangaphambili ugijimela kuye, ekhala, ehlaziya futhi ehlasela. Leli fomu lokuhlukunyezwa lingase lenzeke noma ngabe lona wesifazane ulahlwa noma cha, noma ngabe uzalwa namakhitteni noma cha.
Kungase kuchazwe ngokuthi "ukuphuma esikhwameni" sobudlova. Uma lokho kungezona okuchazayo, cabanga ngakho njengokutshela lo mfana ukuthi uhlezi ekhaya isikhathi eside ngokwanele, nokuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuphuma futhi uzondla yena.
Lolu hlobo lokuziphatha lungafunyanwa kumakati amakhulu, lapho ukuziqhenya kwamabhubesi kuzobaleka khona abesilisa abasebasha, bebaphoqelela ukuba bathuthele kwenye indawo, ukuzakhela ama-prides abo.
Indlela Yokusingatha Ukuhlukumezeka Phakathi Kakati
Kunezindlela eziningi zokubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa kwekati kuya kweyodwa njengoba kunezinhlobo zokuhlukunyezwa. Bahlukaniswa lapha emaqenjini amathathu, ngendlela okufanele baxoxwe ngayo: Ukuphazamiseka, UkuPhikiswa Kwemvelo, Nokunakekelwa Kwezokwelapha.
Ukuphazamiseka
Ukushisekela ngokweqile ukuhlukumeza, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, nokuhlukumezeka komhlaba wonke / ukubuswa kungadluliselwa ngokuphumelelayo ngokuphazamisa amakati nokuqondisa kabusha amandla abo ukuze badlale ngethoyizi. Nazi ezinye imibono:
- Shaya izandla zakho, bese uthi "Cha!" noma "Isikhathi Sokuphuma!" ngezwi elikhulu.
- Vula ikhwelo noma uzwise uphondo lwempondo (Angikwazi ukucabanga ukuthi kunomunye owutholakalayo, kodwa ngenxa yezinkinga eziqhubekayo, ngeke kube buhlungu.)
- Hiss ngokuzwakalayo. Lokhu kulandelwa ikati labo lonina, isifundo sesikhathi sikhumbule kahle sibe sesikhulile. Lingasebenza ngokuphumelelayo kanye nokuhlunga, okuchazwe ngezansi.
- Nikeza ikati elihlukumezayo ngesitokisi esikhulu esikhulu, njengebheyi le-teddy. Yigcine eceleni njengowakhe "isisulu somuntu siqu," bese uyiphonsa kuye ukuze umqondise kude nesisulu sakhe (emva kokubheka).
- Ngemuva kokuba usuqaphele, phuma ithoyizi elibandakanyekayo, njengeDa Bird , ukuqondisa kabusha wonke amandla.
Ukungenelela komzimba
Njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, ungalokothi uphumelele emkhatsini wamakati amabili avaliwe empini. Kodwa-ke, kunezikhathi (ngesikhathi sokumisa phakathi kokuhlaselwa, nokulwa okungenasidlame, noma ngesikhathi sokuhlukumezeka ngokocansi) lapho uhlobo olulodwa lokungenelela ngokomzimba lusebenza kahle kakhulu: lokho okulimazayo .
Ukukhwabanisa kwenziwa ngokubamba isikhumba esibucayi esikhungweni sekhanda le-aggressor, bese ubumnene, kodwa ngokuqinile, ukumqhubezela phansi. "Ngomusa" yizwi elihle lapha. Ungalokothi usebenzise ukujeziswa njengesijeziso, kodwa kunendlela yokuziphatha.
Ukukhwabanisa kuyisondlo esiseduze sezenzo ikati lomama elizothatha nge-kitten engalawuleki. Ungakwazi ukuhambisana nokuhlambalaza ngokumangalela okukhulu ukuqinisa imemori. Ikati le-aggressor lizophumula ngokushesha libe yisimo esincane, futhi singase sigweme kancane kancane. Kubalulekile ukuhlukanisa amakati ngaphambi kokushayisana nomhlukumezi. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokusebenzisa ithoyizi elithambile, njengoba kuchazwe ngenhla. Akungabazeki ukuthi ikati elihlukumezayo lizoshaya izinyawo kude nesiteleka ngokushesha nje lapho elinye ikati liphazamiseka. Uma usuqiniseka ukuthi umhlukumezi uphelile, mkhulule futhi ukhulume naye ngokuthula. Izibhamu ezimbalwa zizofaneleka ngalesi sikhathi, njengokufana nendlela ikati lomama eliyokhotha futhi likhonze ngayo ikati eliye layala.
Olunye uhlobo lokungenelela ngokomzimba ukuhlukanisa. Lokhu kungadingeka lapho ukulwa okwehlukene kwenzeka phakathi kwamakati amabili, noma esimweni sokuhlukunyezwa okuqondisiwe. Nika ikamelo "lokuphuma" lesikhamera, futhi uvumele isisulu lonke indlu. Ukuhlukaniswa kungenzeka ngendlela encane njengehora noma amabili, noma uma nje usuku noma ezimbili. Amanye amakati aphilayo ayodinga ukuhlukaniswa isikhathi eside ezinyangeni ezimbalwa, kodwa iningi lazo liye lafika ngendlela yazo yokuhlala ndawonye ngokuthula.
Ukwelashwa
Uma konke okunye kungaphumeleli, kungase kudingeke ukuthi usebenzise imithi yekati elihlukumezayo kanye / noma isisulu. Qiniseka ukuthi ukhuluma nodokotela wakho wezilwane mayelana nokukhathazeka kwakho. Kubalulekile ukulawula inkinga yezokwelapha ngomunye oyedwa noma kokubili amakati ngaphambi kokuqhubekela phambili kokwelashwa.
Udokotela wakho wezilwane angakwazi ukumisela ikati lakho. Kodwa-ke, ungase ufune usizo lomhlengikazi onguchwepheshe wezinkinga zokuziphatha . Imithi ejwayelekile ihlanganisa:
- Imithi yemithi efana ne-fluoxetine, i-alprazolam, i-trazodone, nezinye ingase iphakanyiswe enye noma kokubili amakati. Amanye anikezwe ikati elihlukumezayo ukuyeka ukuthambekela kwakhe okunonya. Imishanguzo yokulwa nokukhathazeka ingase ibhalelwe ikati elihlukunyezwayo , noma esimweni sokuhlukunyezwa okuqondisiwe, kokubili amakati abandakanyekayo.
- Ama-neutraceuticals / supplements: Ama- agent okugcwala ngendlela yokuphatha angasiza ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka komunye noma kumbili amakati. Ifomu evamile eliphakanyiswa yizilwane eziningi zezilwane yiSolliquin.
- Imithi yokwelapha kanye nezinye izindlela zokwelapha zokucindezeleka ziyatholakala ekucindezelekeni noma ukwesaba okuhambisana nokuhlukunyezwa ngenye ikati
Ngethemba ukuthi indlu yakho ngeke ihlukunyezwe nezinkinga ezinkulu zokuhlukunyezwa. Gcina amehlo akho evulekile emiphakathini engaba khona. Ungenele uma kudingeka futhi uhlinzeke ngokuzivocavoca njalo ngamathoyizi asebenzisanayo. Kwenze lokhu kanye namakati akho cishe ukujabulela ubudlelwane obunokuthula iminyaka.
Ihlelwe nguJenna Stregowski, i-RVT